Hello beautiful souls, I took some time to myself since arriving to Washington to ground. This is the longest I’ve stayed put since staying with my brother in Florida nearly 2 months ago. I’ve been immersed in the beautiful and luscious Olympic National Forest, taking time to slow down and reflect on all that has rapidly changed within me and around me. Being alone on the road has forced me to confront some of my deepest fears. Fear for my own safety, fear of being alone, fears around money, fear of failure, of true expression, of being unworthy of my dreams. Constantly living out of my comfort zones has shown me all the tension I hold within me. Having the freedom to go anywhere has shown me all the ways I am still not free in my own body and mind. At first these realizations were daunting. I thought to myself, I have been doing so much inner work on myself the past almost 4 years now, will I ever be done? The answer is no, of course not. I have chosen to live a radically authentic life and that comes with constant opportunities to grow. And after all these fears are only showing up because I have the courage to face them. But I so often catch myself focusing solely on the end result of something, where will I be when I’m done traveling? Where will I live? In the pursuit of becoming the highest version of myself I so easily overlook all that I am now, all that I have already accomplished, and all that I have in this moment. The thing to remember is, as we are learning and growing to better ourselves that doesn’t make the previous version of you, of us, any less worthy. If you’re constantly searching for more, you miss out on all the magic that already surrounds you. Even in these moments of fear I know that I will one day I will look back at this time in my life and see nothing but magic. That within my uncertainty was also my potential and within my discomfort was also the opportunity to see what I needed to change. I am so grateful for these mossy trees for pulling me deeply back into the present moment, into gratitude and appreciation for all that is. For slowing me down and reminding me there is no rush, that all is unfolding exactly as it should. Returning me to a state of childlike wonder as I explore this dense temperate rain forest.
I want to close out with one of my favorite quotes by Henry David Thoreau. “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms...”
A special thank you to those of you who sent money through my support link and those who have bought prints. I am so grateful to share this journey with you all.
Much love,
Jara
